No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
please don't ironically join a cult
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