we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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