All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
