All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Welp...herpes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
