I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
