Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
