mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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