Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
