i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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