make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize