So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
