Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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