cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
