fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
