We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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