I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
