Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
