kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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