Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
