i will never coherently bang her
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize