yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
