I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
3pm strippers are depressing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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