shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
