oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
