Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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