1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This baby is an asshole
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize