Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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