Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
