Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
