I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
