The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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