quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
