i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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