note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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