Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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