I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Screwed.edu
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
