we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
