Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
