Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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