dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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