We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
