just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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