Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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