Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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