Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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