don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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