Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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