So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
