We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
