I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my poor anus
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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