Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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