Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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