and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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