just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he thought i was a dude.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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