was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just got carded by a ten year old.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
