She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
