Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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