I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
