i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
