Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
