I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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