i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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