I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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