I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i barfeds in our rink
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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