we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need a beard to bite.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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